I want a job editing/writing Amazon ads

I was looking through random junk on Amazon and was surprised how bad some of the discriptions for the ads are.

I totally understand how non primarily  English speaking people may have grammar issues or spelling problems but an editor would help clean up the wording/spelling.

The ones that had me laughing a long time were the ones most likely written by people who speak English as their first (and probably only) language who simply have very strange ideas of how to describe things.

Case in point, I put these together 

This is when she is about to be stoned and moments later is rescued.

I can honestly say I have never felt the need to decorate a laundry room (and for me that is saying something because I love decorating pretty much everything), I am more likely to ensure that every available inch of wall space is used for stockpiling cleaning supplies. (Hey you have your dreams, I have mine ) but if I changed my mind I don’t think Saint Inez is going to cut it for me.

Here something for “the nursery” 

So we have Saint George and the (creepiest fucking) “dragon” ….for the nursery.  I am not opposed to dragons in nurseries by any means, knights either, but look at that poor messed up thing, I am honestly not sure what the hell happened to it.  Something from a Troma movie I guess.

Here is the deal, the artist painted this woman as a send up to women over a certain age who allow vanity to make them look foolish.  She dresses partly in old fashion styles from her youth and partly in modern styles that do not become her.  Also recent studies suggest she suffers from a form of 

Editorial statement: The only  things a woman my age …or any age we define as adult… should not wear is #1 the weight of the world on her shoulders and #2 anyone else’s opinion about her choices. In fact if you are old enough to buy your own clothes it is officially no one who doesn’t employ you’s business what you wear.

So anyway, where were we?

Oh yes, here is the last one.

It’s scary out there

We are not just afraid of the creature in the big white house down the lane, we are scared to death by the army of misguided souls who think America was Great when Blacks and Women knew their place, when white men were some imagined powerful James Bond meets John Wayne.

They are in for a hard awakening but not before they drag us through the mud, chained to the bumper of their jacked up trucks.

https://noisey.vice.com/en_ca/article/david-bowies-im-afraid-of-americans-has-become-an-unfortunate-reality-in-the-age-of-trump

My hair is an amazing color and I can’t show you

|I have the most amazing color of hair right now, a mixed teal blue and green with 2 inches of roots dyed a mix of purple and red, all of it flows together so lovely.
And I can’t show you because I can’t stand pictures of my face but I also can’t handle how bullshit attention grabbing putting a black dot covering my face would be.
I realized today this aversion of being photographed has becomes sickness, a thing that causes me to feel sick at the idea much less at seeing photos of how I look now.
98% of the people on my friends list don’t understand that when I say there were LOTS of photos taken of me fat I don’t just mean a few hundred in the 7 years I was part of this community before my surgery 6.5 years ago. I modeled for 14 years before my surgery, yes I was on a paysite for 3 years but I also did plain old ultra-fat-chick in cute sexy clothes or just nice clothes pictures as well. Last estimate was around 8500 photos of me online.
And that face at its best is who I imagine I still am, or maybe some face between that “cute fat chick” face and this …. face I have now.
This face doesn’t photograph well, where I used to photograph better than I looked in real life I now think pictures of me are far worse
At least I hope that is the case.
But in photos or in the mirror this face is not me.
This face hurts physically and emotionally.
And to say the least I don’t like it.

Between losing a tooth on one side and the other side feeling like Ronda Rousey must have felt in her last match it is hard to like my face much, in real life I see elegance in it but in pictures it is like Dorian Gray, it just doesn’t look anything like me 

Now I am paying for my vanity all the times people thought I was 5 to 10 years younger than I was.

Trigger Warning, yeah this will piss a few people off, but that may be a good thing.

​I don’t think anyone was paying attention to the fact that next year most definitely will be worse.  The deaths of famous people distracted us from a lot of shit going down.

Maybe it is time to toughen up, stop crying over people we don’t know and start figuring out how to protect ourselves and those we do know.  

Too many people are drowning in their problems, their pains and not fighting back. It seems as if so many people  are becoming their diagnosis, their illness, their situations, instead of working to overcome them.

Trust me I understand, hell I keep slipping into the “woes is me, it hurts and I can’t do anything” bullshit mindset and I need to fight that to survive.  But I fall into it less and less often, I make myself recognize that it fucking hurts worse today but then I study and figure out what set it off and how to not do it again. 

I fight because if I don’t I am dead, I might as well give up and accept the slow, painful, years worth of dead and I don’t have time for that bullshit.

Sometimes it feels like too many people spend too much time justifying their lack of forward momentum, explaining how their illnesses hold them back instead of finding out how to work around them as much as they can.  

I know people who can barely move but they keep trying, they are my idols.

We need to get proactive, both individually and in groups. Things are going to get hard, maybe we need to get a fuck-ton better at dealing with hard while staying strong but decent.

Right now I am trying to figure out how to make life easier and safer for Alex and myself as well as our families/friends.

I am not going to let what is coming beat me down.

Maybe what I just said insults someone, maybe they feel I mean them in particular.  

Maybe they need to ask themselves why do they feel that way?

Is it because they need to make changes? 

Or is it because they think I am a bitch?

I used to be afraid people would think I am bitchy, now I don’t. 

Because Bitches get things done.

I am pushing against fear


​People keep telling me they are amazed at how hard I work on things but especially this last week or so, most of all outside, and that my pain must be doing a lot better, I must be in remission for Fibromyalgia. 

They also absolutely do NOT want to hear that “no, it hurts a lot but I am terrified to stop pushing myself as hard as I can because I am scared I will never get started again.”

*”Surely you are doing a little better, you’re working way too hard for someone in that kind of pain.”

I honestly don’t know what to say, or how to explain it so I just say “yep”

I think these should be the new pain levels instead of 1 to 10

​Pretty much for me the Good for this year beyond day to day stuff was putting my foot down and insisting on a new pain specialist who took me seriously, had my back checked, believed that I had two different problems in my legs and got me on Lyrica.

Best way to tell who understands chronic pain is they are the ones who understand this conversation 

×”Oh so your new drug is getting rid of all your pain?”

*”No but it got rid of the ‘BARGAINING WITH GOD’ pain and that makes it easier to deal with the ‘Cussing Out Loud’ pain”

×”I thought you were like an atheist or something”

*”Yep”