Stranded

I am stranded.
I just realized how awful this shit can be.
I got dressed in outdoor clothes, something other than a nightgown, and only nearly fell over twice.
I walked out to the mailbox because I often forget to check it and my brain barely worked once it was confronted with bright light and noises.
I realized there was no way I could take the risk of driving the 1 mile to the store and back just to buy a bit of fruit.
Too dangerous.
I just feel numb and wish I could sleep or justify chocolate.
I am very close to giving up and starting over tomorrow

45 MINUTES LATER
I find humor in the weirdest stuff.
I am stranded for the moment because I am dizzy and can’t drive
Because I am tired,feel weak and sad about being stranded I want chocolate
There is for once none in the house
I would need to drive to go get some but if I could drive I would not feel justified in giving in after 28 days and eating sweets because I am upset…you know…about driving.
And if anyone gave me a ride I would be embarrassed to give in for such a dumb reason

4 HOURS LATER
I definitely pushed the limits on no sugar…I will consider today a mini-semi carby day (I don’t do Cheat or Treat Days because I have a hard enough time not thinking of good as the Reward AND the Enemy)
I had a good sized bowl of green grapes and one of “Pirate Booty” corn puffs after Alex got back to take me.
Weirdly enough once we got to the store chocolate wasn’t as tempting as cold green grapes.
Neither of what we got is very good for me with the carbs they have but it wasn’t chocolate or candy and if I get right back to only low carb fruit, veg and dairy I should be doing great

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