No it isn’t making me stronger

I HATE being told that my suffering will make me stronger, NO it won’t, being sick, hurting, not able to get good sleep, these things are not conducive to being strong, physically they destroy my muscles and mentally it makes it hard to retain info and emotionally it tears me down.
Telling a person with Chronic Pain (as in it isn’t going away) that the daily grind of pain will make them stronger brings on a hell of a lot of guilt when they don’t get stronger, when they constantly feel out of control of their bodies and their life.
I DO try to be a better person, I try to be healthier and stronger but my suffering isn’t a magic ticket to some glorious understanding of human nature.
It has been so long since I can even imagine a day without pain, and now without guilt and shame over how little I can do.
I tell myself I will go into remission soon, that the last year has been a long flare up.  I remind myself I have to try to get healthier even if just a little but it is a constant struggle and I don’t need extra guilt


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