Believe it or not I am not saying this to complain, I just know there are others going through it and I want them to know I understand and I do know it will get better.
This is how I feel right now
Like a fish out of water, which is funny since I am in the tub but nothing feels right, my skin feels both sizes too small AND sizes too big (which it is actually but I don’t always feel it) all at the same time.
I feel out of place both physically and mentally, as if I am running at the wrong speed to the rest of the world. I feel as if I don’t belong in my own life, home, world and everything seems off…
I feel as if everything I say or do is a bother to someone, asking a favor makes me feel like a monster but physically and mentally I can’t keep up with what needs doing to make life livable without it causing me to get worse or be mad. I feel like a burden to everyone but I feel over burdened also. If I ask for help I feel like a nagging monster but at the same time I feel as if things are falling apart around me and no one else sees a mess so I have to ask for help because I cant just stop caring if things are messy and it just feels painful that I have to ask and then I feel guilty that I can’t just let the mess
I know in my sane little brain space that I am unreasonable but I just feel so much guilt for being unreasonable about feeling guilt about everything
Like I said it will get better, it has to