I changed my mind, time to get hard on myself


I fucked up big time today:
I could go into a long speel about sick mama cat, and lack of cash, vet visits, and stress, pain and hormonal insanity but the fact is I made bad choices.
I want to tell myself “Don’t be so tough on yourself” but to be honest that is how I got so messed up to start with…bad choices and too many justifications.
Maybe it is time to be much harder on myself, to push through the excuses and move beyond acting on instinct where food and goodies are concerned and stop giving and accepting excuses to myself from myself.
I am seeking to be strong enough as a person that I won’t accept bullshit from others so why am I accepting it from myself?
Just before I found these quotes I was thinking “I wonder if losing weight woild help my back pain? My back spasms are worse this last month, just exactly when I started gaining that 7 pounds, maybe if I work harder it will get better but I keep eating crap because I hurt and I am stressed.”
Then I thought “No you use the fact that you are hurt and stressed as an EXCUSE to eat crappy food and to skip exercise and then stress out worse when you do. If losing weight and getting stronger would help your pain then it seems like that is more important than wanting sweets.”
I realize something, if the desire to not be miserable, both physically and mentally, is not stronger than the desire to eat sugar, if the need to be out of pain isn’t important enough to fight this addiction no matter how difficult it is than I am truly crazy and I am sick of this kind of crazy.


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