WTF body?

What the fuck body? This is a simple cold…stop being such a fucking dizzy wimp.
Trying to tidy up…5 mins after I start anything I am falling down level dizzy. I used to be really really sick and injured and I really had to fight to get anything done and I hate hate hate remembering what that feels like. I have amazing friends who struggle with this every day of their lives and I have been lucky but having been there before is causing not just frustration at my weakness but horrible anxiety.
So fuck it…I will put on music and do ONE thing on my to do list for no more than 2 or 3 1980s buttrock songs, (great for house work) average length 2.42 minutes then set my alarm for 20 mins and rest and start over again until I can’t do anymore tonight:

To Do List (each # is one item to do between breaks)
√#1. Wipe down stove top and counters, put dishes in sink (three songs, extra time to check if clothes in dryer needed more time/they do)

#2. Empty dishwasher/Load dishwasher (3.5 songs because I unloaded a small load of work clothes and tossed the rags I had washed earlier in the dryer, but I sat for 2 of the songs while loading the dishwasher)

#3. Carry load of clothes in to kitchen, load and run washing machine, Fold small load of rags from dryer (2.5 songs but one was a Rolling Stones long track….I got all the dirty clothes in to the kitchen, sorted them, loaded 1 load, washed down the very linty and dried soapy top of the W&D, folded the small load of cleaning rags and swept the kitchen floor because I was sore from stepping on cat litter and split quinoa…also made hot cocoa)

#4. Change big litter box from plain clay to unscented scoopable litter/Scoop smaller litter box (2.5 songs BUT 1 was “Smokin’ in the Boy’s room” which is barely 2 mins…I also unloaded the washer into the dryer and loaded the washer because I have to do 2 smaller loads because of cargo pants and towels)

#5. Separate books and paper products from general craft stuff out of the boxes worth of random art supplies in the front room and decide what to take to garage tomorrow as well as what to keep in the house.
#6. Empty and reload washing machine, empty and load dryer
(These two all together took half an hour but I actually got all of that art sorting done instead of the half I had planned and came up with an entire grocery bag of trash…I did a full load of laundry as well during this time and separated the one I pulled out of the dryer into Alex’s and mine…now I am just waiting on the last load to dry)

I am going super super slow but the anxiety of seeing the house get out of control and realizing that it will just get harder to clean while both Alex and I are feeling so bad and knowing it is just making his allergies so much worse is making me feel awful (they are so bad that he can’t sleep and barely eats and he still has to work late every night)


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