Grandma is passing soon

My grandmother’s cancer has taken a severe turn for the worse, chances are she won’t survive this month.  I knew about this early on my birthday but didn’t want to deal with thinking or talking about it. 
My grandma got to see me in my new outfit Friday, a size 12, she always has believed in me and it breaks my heart to think of her not being here but she has had so much pain, so much sorrow lately that maybe it is a blessing.
I know she would not blame me for going through with my birthday plans, it would make her mad to think of me canceling everything when there was nothing I could do, she is like that.
I don’t pray, that won’t change because of this but I believe in positive thought, if you wish to please think positive thoughts that her passing is swift and with the least amount of pain possible. Also if you believe in an afterlife please pray that she finds my grandfather and is happy again.
I will be ok, but I am losing my best friend for good and I am not sure what to think

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