I don’t want to be her

This is me at 440+ pounds, I don’t look healthy, I don’t think I realized how big I was at the time, I honestly don’t remember it well.
I just binged on Milk Duds and I feel so sick but I keep wanting more.  I need, NEED, to remember what it was like, what I was like, I have got to remember that the pain I feel now recovering is nothing compared to the daily pain back then.
I have to remember what that was like and the only way I know how is to remember how I looked.




Seeing these and some from when I was a nude model makes me so sad….this can’t be me again damn it


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