My Winter-onset seasonal affective disorder symptoms include:
Depression (randomly feeling as if I am going to cry)
Hopelessness (I feel as if I can’t create anything worthwhile, I feel disconnected from any talent I might have)
Anxiety (that has been going on for months)
Loss of energy (I just poop out so fast)
Increased aches and pain (everything aches and my legs hurt worse)
Social withdrawal (it feels as if I can’t concentrate or focus enough to talk to people much)
Random bursts of anger (so far only a bit but I feel it building)
Appetite changes (I don’t want to eat more than a few bites at a time all day, been living off of sugarless peanut butter, lite yogurt and protein drinks with the occasional snack….usually I binge on sugar but that was last week, now a little goes a very long way because I feel so sick to my stomach)
Difficulty concentrating or getting interested in things (there are things I want to do but once I start I can’t focus or make it work)
So what am I doing about it?
I am trying to use my therapy light but it is best to do it within 30 mins of waking up but Alex sleeps a few hours later than me. I am just going to have to tell him to hide his head for 20 mins because it really makes a difference.
I am also trying to go for a walk every day and to the Y to ride bike every day or so (riding during the day causes serious leg pain at night and I believe that the pain meds and anti spasm meds are making things worse so for now every other day has to do.)
It may sound strange but I am cutting back on caffeine because it makes it harder to sleep when I should and agitates my anxiety. Right now I am not over sleeping but I am exhausted and agitated.
I am also trying to get into the live action role playing game Alex is going back to (we met at this LARP) just to keep from being a total hermit. The problem is I also can’t concentrate, I hurt and just want to lay down.
But I am determined this entire winter won’t be a disaster of depression