In the mirror

I think before my birthday I need to get dressed up and take a ton of photos so I can get a few I like…it use to be when I modeled at a much much higher weight I would like the way my face looked in 75% plus of my pictures, now I look at those same pics and mostly wonder what the fuck I was thinking.
I realize it was mostly that I was comfortable with my face and how it looked, it had been largely the same size and shape for a decade or more and even looked very much the same from 30 to 40.  But now I don’t really recognize myself, I don’t usually like how I look now a days.
To me I look old, my face is thin out of proportion with the rest of me and I feel faded and dim these days.
Some of that is stuff I can deal with by taking better care of my skin and hair (facials, new dye jobs, deep conditioning and exfoliating) as well as plenty of rest, trying to distress and relax (which has been hard lately)  and eating better.
But some of it will just involve taking the time to stop avoiding looking at myself, to accept that this is ME now and to become comfortable with this version of myself.
Maybe taking some decent photos will help, who knows.

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