And cue social anxiety, the desire to vanish is getting strong.
I dont usually have this problem and being able to hide out for a week or so and not be responsible for anyone else’s needs but my own and my family’s should take care of it.
I am very happy to help friends out and have enjoyed seeing people recently but right now my family need me so much and I am scared of failing them and I don’t have energy for anything else so if I don’t come out much the next few weeks please understand.  I hope a short hermatage will let me regroup and get my head on right.
I am social by nature but when I finally burn totally out on being social it can take months of hiding to get better…
I am getting better at setting boundaries on myself and others to give myself the self care I need but it is hard to break the habits of four decades of always giving in to everyone else’s needs but my own.
I look at this list and in one part think yes and another part of me debates about how I NEED to make peace and if I hurt people’s feelings and don’t give them everything they need they will hate me and abandon me (thank you borderline personality disorder for that bit of irrationally strong anxiety)
So I am trying to accept that the people who matter will accept my need of boundaries and want me to be whole, sane and happy.



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