Step #1: Listen to yourself and stop being on negative thought auto pilot. If you complain enough it becomes a habit, your mind develops neural pathways with repeated thoughts, these pathways, like any beaten path, are easy to travel down. Have you ever driven past the street to your house and unintentionally turned there, or after you move to a new place still find yourself turning as if to go to the old place? Habitual thoughts are like that, your mind knows the way without putting effort into it so if you don’t pay attention to what you think and say you may complain out of basic habit but it doesn’t change the negative impact of those thoughts.
Pay attention and you may be shocked by just how negative you really are.
Step #2: Don’t complain! Just stop it! Now that you realize how often your thoughts and words lean towards negativity try hard to make a concerted effort to control not just your words but your thoughts as well.
When you find yourself thinking or saying negative things stop on the spot.
Step #3: Actively correct your thoughts and replace complaints with more positive statements. When you have caught your thoughts or words becoming negative and have stopped them in their tracks it is time to redirect them on to less beaten pathways until those positive paths become the scenic byway of choice. Put a more positive spin on things even if all you can say is something along the lines of “this is hard to deal with but at least I am giving it my all and staying positive.”
Step #4: Come up with solutions for the problems that keep causing negative thoughts and that cause you to complain the most.
I am not saying never feel or think negatively but learn to reword complaints and redirect thoughts into solutions not condemnations. There are some things that may never be truly positive but you choose what aspects of them you will dwell on…for example my grandmother has stage 4 cancer, there is little positive about this trust me, but dwelling on the worst of it won’t help her or me. So I am making a effort to help as much as I can, to think positive that she will recover and to live in the moment while relishing the good memories and trying to help her do so as well. I can’t take her tumors or her pain away but I don’t have to make it worse for us all by mourning her before she is gone.
Step #5: Smile even if you have to fake it…laugh even if it is at how ridiculously overwhelmed you feel
The physical act of smiling and laughing actually stimulates positive brain chemistry. Laughter is really an amazing medicine and sometimes when things pile up on you it is time to look at them, shake your head at how ridiculously overdone such a list would sound in a book and laugh. And if all else fails…lolcats.
Step #6: Start every morning upon waking with a positive thought or two (or more)
Before you get out of bed make an effort to think something positive, make a plan for the day that is achievable such as plan to compliment 5 people at random or just take a moment and even if you are running late or hurt and feel the warmth and comfort around you.
Take a moment to think something good, even if you need to save positive affirmations and quotes to your phone and before doing anything else randomly choose one, read it and dwell for a moment on the meaning of those words.
Step #7: List the good and let go of the bad at the end of each day.
No matter how hard the day was right before you sleep list at least a few good things, such as a deal you found while shopping, a friend you saw or a really good mood you felt for a while.
Do this even if it is just something like “today’s weather was nicer than yesterday” or “this rain will help the plants so I don’t need to water.”
And as you list those good things allow the bad that happened to be past because there is nothing you can do to change the fact that it happened and positive thoughts will help you deal with such things in the future.