Usually I pride myself for being there for all my friends and being able to be polite and understanding to all and sundry regardless of my opinion of things. I want to be the person who others are able to bring their problems to…but NOT RIGHT NOW
I have enough drama in my life at this time and I am close to the breaking point…
PLEASE understand if I am not around as much, if I can’t be as helpful or as cheerful as I wish I was.
I am worried about pretty much everything and while I know I can’t fix things I also can’t stop this anxiety as easily as saying “don’t worry”
Above and beyond my fears about my own physical and mental health and the fact that I was told that this bone bruise will most likely hurt for another month I worry about my family and I worry I will alienate friends with my anxiety based mood swings.
I worry about grandma and her cancer, her emotional state, my mom who gave up her job to care for grandma and my husband Alex who has to deal with me and my pain and fears.
I will attempt to stop dwelling on my pain and fears…I will be happy if I have to fake it til I make it.
This is the last thing I am posting on here about physical or mental pain, addiction, anxiety, money, anger or stress for the next while.
If I can’t be there as much for my friends as I want without fearing I will fail them then I need to stop dumping all this in their laps.
The problem is that I am complaining compulsively at this point, it feels as if it is all that I do any more, they say 30 days to break a habit, by then maybe the pain will be gone, my moods stable and we will have a better idea what is what with grandma.
I will still be posting, I may mention some of the the things I am dealing with but only in proactive ways, to tell how I am succeeding, not how I am suffering.
I found this on line…go check out awesome life tips
I know that I have a wide list of bad habits I need to break, I will work on one habit a month I guess.
You need to not just Stop the bad habit but also implement a good alternative in its place.
So for me October shall be “stop complaining about things and be more positive” month
Don’t get me wrong I will be working on my other issues as well but I am giving myself permission to focus more on one thing a month.
I honestly believe that being more positive will help me with controlling my food addiction because I mostly eat sugar when I hurt and get down so if I try to be positive maybe that will help kill off one of my triggers for sugar binging.
As for exercising more not complaining about pain so much and trying to believe it honestly will get better soon may make exercising easier to face.
And it might be easier to be motivated and get things done if I focus on the positive aspect of what is already done and the value of even a small amount of work compared to even a moment wasted complaining.