Don’t be a “Mean Girl (or guy)

This is my response on Tumblr in reference to a kid who asked if it was wrong to dress in gothicly inspired fashions when he doesn’t know much about the music yet.

” If it was wrong it would imply that Goth was only one way of being, one way of thinking, one type of very limited music and one way to dress and a defined small list of things you may like.
Sorry folks but no one gets to tell me what is Goth, if someone loves Goth inspired clothes and watches the occasional Tim Burton movie but doesn’t listen to any of the wide variety of Gothic music out there it really is up to that person to define how they wish to be labeled (or not)
I figure Goth is a variety of elements beyond some narrow definition and if a person likes some but not others shut the fuck up…just as with the infamous “Geek Cred” it makes you look like an ass, demeans the other person and might chase off someone who could be a really good asset to the name Goth (if that is how they identify)
There is so much to Goth….pick and choose which make up you and guess what you don’t get “Goth Points” because you have more than another. Want to earn Goth Points? Then be cool to newbies and non Goths alike, share your knowledge and interests in a non demeaning manor and realize we all have different likes and dislikes and that Goth is made up of wide and varied preferences in fashion, music, art, decor, movies, fiction, hobbies, as well as senses of humors which simply share the fact that one or more of those are based on varied degrees a the dark aesthetic.
Don’t be a fucking cliché, a stereotypical stuck up judgmental Goth who acts like the same “mean girls (and boys)” many of us had to face in school.
Nurture your own interests without condemning other people for not sharing the exact same ones”

The thing is this could be the same for any group, I have found this mentality in certain individuals in the Big Beautiful Women’s groups, weight loss surgery people, people into health and athletics, artists, musicians, other sub cultures like Hipsters and Hippies as well Geeks and Nerds.
It is pretty fucking self absorbed to assume that you are the final authority on any subject or culture as diverse as any of those or that your opinions are the end all, be all of a group. 
Offer to share your interestes if a person seems willing to learn and don’t be a dick if they dont care to learn.  We didn’t work to find others like ourselves just so we can be like the crappy exclusionary people who.made so many of us hate being young…be the cool person who has something to offer and is also willing to learn from others.

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