My mom

Here is the wonderful thing about my mom and my grandmother for that matter:
My mom knows that my brother Eric and I are adults, and we are so lucky that she is proud to see that we will continue to evolve as human beings until we die because unlike many people in the world we were taught, largely by her, that to stop growing, to stop evolving and to give up on becoming more than you are now is to stop seeking to be your own personal definition of happy, smart and content.
And we were taught that that is sad.
She doesn’t seek to control either of us and while she will give us advice she never holds it against us if we don’t take it, my mom treats us like adults even when she thinks of us as her kids.
She taught us to want to learn, learn all kinds of things no matter how odd or esoteric as long as we enjoy knowing about things.  She admires both of us despite there being a huge difference between my brother and I in careers, life paths and creativity.
One important thing for me at least is the fact that she doesn’t ever make me feel as if I failed for not being a highly educated professional like my brother, she judges and praises us on our own merits.
Because of her I have developed a determination to not give up on myself and recently that has really come in handy.
People all over decide they are “done,” all finished growing up and so why seek to be more? And personally I can’t imagine thinking that I have nothing left to learn, nothing left to develop on a mental, creative or spiritual level. (my own personal definition of spiritual is the willingness to go the extra mile to be a good person and the willingness to feel connected to life around me)
One of the most important things my mom has given to  us both is the desire to be good people by our own definition and to define happiness and success for ourselves and not worry too much what others think.
She gave us that and she continues to give us the gift of being our friend and letting us know she loves and admires us as adult people.
I would choose to be her friend if she wasn’t already my mom and I like to think she would choose me as friend if we were not mother and daughter.

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