I have chronic fatigue and arthritis and lately SAD has been creeping in, this morning I decided I would start a weekend long cleaning list, I had it spaced out for 5 days of cleaning and cooking all listed by day.
Then I started cleaning at 2am on Friday morning, even with forced breaks I found myself either sitting to sort things out or writing stuff, not truly relaxing and by 9:30 am i had finished half of the list and taken my grandmother shopping.
Not so much.
I can barely walk, I have had to take Norco which gives me raging headaches, Tylenol to get rid of the headaches and now I am seriously looking at wine wondering if it will help with the ongoing pain and it is 12 hours later.
EVERYTHING hurts, from my feet to my head, my CFS has every nerve in my body screaming.
Even my skin hurts and i ended up sleeping off and on all day throwing my sleep schedule off completely.
The thing is I am barely half done, I still have to put away the SIX loads of laundry I did (including material from my art and sewing stuff) I was going to work on unfucking my art room this weekend and I have to cook for a party on Monday and GO to a party on Monday and the fact is I will most likely spend the next 2 days (Sat and Sun) just recovering enough to hopefully get some of the cooking done and be able to go to the party.
If I had stuck with my list I would over the entire long weekend have managed to get it all done with no pain, now it looks as if I will not be getting much more done and I will be spending my weekend recovering.
Let’s just say I am very frustrated.
All I have planned for Saturday is for Alex and I to put away the ridiculous amount of washing, the material which is already mostly bagged will go out to the garage for now, the blankets will go into the closet and the clothes will be folded and hung up. With Alex’s help I can sit on the bed and do the folding and put stuff on hangers while he puts them where they belong and puts stuff in the garage. This should take maybe half an hour to 40 mins max.
Sunday I will get Alex to move the boxes of art supplies temporarily into the garage and bring in the rolling plastic drawer units so I can clean them out, another thing I can do sitting. Sunday night I will prep some of the food for the party then the rest on Monday.
Finally Tuesday we will take our little tree down (it takes maybe 30 minutes and i can do it sitting down) and chances are that is all that will be done which basically means about 1/4 of the list of things just won’t get done at all this weekend.
The sick thing is everything hurts on my body right now and I still want to go do dishes and organize the plastic storage containers tonight but I have to stop myself, the problem isn’t my motivation it is my physical body that is not going along with the plan. I have to remind myself that while I could push through and force myself to get more done I would not be able to do anything for days and would most likely miss the New Years Eve party Monday.
Part of unfucking my habitat means unfucking my habits as well.