Just one winter please let me be sane

Every winter of my adult life has been a variation on the same theme of Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Some years are worse than others, some are full of rage and insomnia while others are filled to the brink with exhaustion and sleep.  Sometimes they alternate month to month, one month os slept away with little if any emotional side effects while others are jam packed with anxiety and sorrow.
There are years that the symptoms start as early as mid October and others (like this one) when I have made it til mid November before the crazies start up.
Symptoms seem to be on opposite ends of the spectrum with little in between, exhaustion or insomnia, morbid tearful depressions or random rages for no reason, anxiety or apathy, exhaustion ….or well exhaustion really, raging cravings for carbs and increased appetite for junk.
I have spent the vast majority of some winters in bed unable to function and finally got a therapy lamp a while back and boy does it help, though it is about time to get a new very expensive bulb for it.  I need to remember to take my vitamins, eat lots of proteins and stick to my no sugar plan and see how it effects me along with the light therapy.
I am starting this winter with a good high Vitamin D blood count and that helps with energy and mood and so I will work to keep it up throughout the season.  I am attempting to increase my walking but there are times that extra walking causes my entire body to hurt all out of proportion to what I have done, this is a symptom of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome where I become unreasonably fatigued and suffer exaggerated pain sensitivity after exertion.
I will keep trying, I was hoping to lose more weight by New Years (6-7 weeks away) but at this rate even having cut sugar out I doubt it will happen.
I just have to hold on and make sure I don’t make any choices I shouldn’t while I am not feeling good like giving in to sweets which I fear would lead to an avalanche of addictive acting out.


One thought on “Just one winter please let me be sane

  1. Best of luck with your winter. I hope that it’s going to go well for you, and that all the things you are doing help with the pain.

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