Fantasy AND Reality… Paying the bills to dream

I have been trying to put this into words and it wasn’t working then I saw this, I finally got my own words to work by reading these

I lived in my fantasies for so long I denied what was happening to me, bad relationships could be avoided by slipping into books that took me away to perfect relationships. My increasing weight and infirmities did not matter because I lived more in my mind, in my dreams than I did in my body, in my dreams I was not fat, I was not crippled, was in control and most of all I was not ME.  I spent money left and right, even money I did not have because I could not fight my impulse issues and I refused to accept that there really were consequences because when I was faced with them I just allowed myself to focus on pleasure instead and convince myself it was all alright.

I lived this way for so long until I simply had to face reality, until learning to function in the “Real World” made me see that my dreams are great, my hopes are wonderful and a huge part of my creativity but they were not paying the bills so to speak… in fact they were costing me more than I could ever afford… physically, mentally and yes financially.

To enjoy the fantasy you have to pay the bills… not just the rent, not just the groceries but the cost of life, treating people right, treating yourself right, not giving in to every impulse, learning to say no to yourself and others.  I means doing what needs doing, the day to day stuff, the dishes, the cleaning, the interactions with people you would just as soon avoid, the boring stuff.

It is those things that pay the way to fantasy, that make sure you can enjoy the dreams, the treat, the pleasure, knowing you are safe, you are warm and you are ACTUALLY loved for who you are and for the good you have done, not just loved in your dreams.  Dreams are great, they make life worth living, but life, that is what makes dreams possible.


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