Ten Random Songs

Ok here’s the deal…switch music player to random and for the next 10 songs, tell why they are on your machine.

#1 “People Are Strange” THE DOORS I have loved the Doors since I was a small child and my mom use to listen to them, i use to read their songs at Poetry readings in the 90’s.   I have also felt strange all my life so the song fits me somehow.

#2 “Why does my Heart Feel So Bad” MOBY – back in my many depressed times this song meant alot it fit the pain in my heart.  It is good to accept that that pain was once a huge part of my life, that i had to over come that pain and depression before I could move on and find joy in my life and  to remember where I have been & how much better I am now

#3 “Nightswimming” REM  –  A beautiful song, it captures the mood, the slow, calm feeling of being in the water, in the dark with the stars over head and your thoughts wandering.   When I was younger we had a huge natural geothermal hottub way in the back of our yard and I would spend hours there late at night soaking and swimming around, taking in the night and just thinking, those were amazing times.

#4 “Juke Joint Jezebel” KMFDM – This is not by far my favorite KMFDM song but it is the first I remember hearing all those years ago.  Living in Boise Idaho before I had access to the internet there was not much access to new music so finding something new often came from movie soundtracks, this was one of those.  In fact my entire interest in first New Wave, then Deathrock then goth came through soundtrack albums leading to finding more music.

#5 “Wreck of the Day” ANNA NALICK – There was a time I thought I was in love with someone, and of course it was not returned, one of our major commonality was making soundtracks of our life and  this song came out about then and somehow fit every other worthless unrequited crush I had ever had and how I felt at those times… that i would Give up on love if I could
I now realize those were just crushes, not true love and the Idea of giving up on Love now is something I can’t grasp.

#6 “Better Man” PEARL JAM  –  For years this was me, this was how every relationship I had stacked up, “She lies to her self, cant find a better man” those words haunted me because they were true, I would end up in crappy relationships and stay because a part of me thought I could never find anyone better, anyone who loved me.  It wasn’t until I gave up those thoughts, until I decided it was better to be alone then allow someone to use me that I found the best man, the best person I have ever known. Now the line “can’t find a better man” has a different meaning because I will never find anyone else like him and I hope to never have to try.

#7 “Under the Milky Way” The Church – One of those songs that still take me back to what seemed the only good part of the 80s for me, a select handful of music, that is after you dug through the pablum & crap pop that filled most of the airwaves.  For all that MTV has become worthless now at the time it was amazing, bringing new music to the world and late late at night it brought me closer what would be my eventual future… Deathrock and goth.

# 8 “Lucretia My Reflection” SISTERS OF MERCY – What can I say but AMAZING, this song blew my mind the first time I heard/saw it at 4am on some video show and it still does.  It totally shaped a huge portion of my musical tastes and how I see the world, this was one of my gatesways to Goth.

#9 “Lips Like Sugar” ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN – What can I say I like the little bit of good 80s music I remember, some post punk and deathrock is still amazing music and deserves the respect for being a precursor to much of the modern stuff we Goths listen to

#10 “Illusion” VNV NATION – this song already tore me apart just listening to it, then I saw the “Dollface” video, My heart broke.   This song spoke to something deep inside, it still makes me cry, it feels at time as if it was written for me and the video which is now so intertwined in my mind with this song fits a part of me I doubt I will ever truly get over.

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